perfum

Competition CLOSED

Thanks to all who participated!

Winners:

<news:[The Elftown Limerick Competition@wiki] Winners!>

The Slug King Barry was a slug most exaltedperfumed But very quickly his reign was halted They found him on the ground A slimy mound Barry, it seemed, had been a-salted Written by [Mortified Penguin]

The Life of a Muffin Roasting, rising and ready to arrive, The muffin did smile in its warm baking hive. Till one day a child, Oh so rabid and wild, Devoured, quite happily, the poor thing alive. Written by [Rice]

Congratulations [Mortified Penguin] & [Rice]

Reminder 1: Number your entries, and separate them with the <hr> tag.
Reminder 2: This is a contest for limericks. Not for poems vaguely resembling limericks.



1. Untitled

Never give a panda a hug
Even though they're cute as a bug
You mean them no harm
But you'll still lose an arm
And it'll do it, with little more then a shrug.

Written by [Lord Josmar]

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2. my trip out

I slipped on a street called memory lane
Hell, I was in a lot of pain
I had to go to A&E
For people who are as clumsy as me
And then I had to walk back in the rain

Written by [kians mummy]

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3. Pitfalls of Diversity

From PMs to wooing by sitar
The romance of Elftown gets bizarre
But when a young, Halfling schmuck
Can boast the feet of a Duck
The loving has really gone too far

Written by [Triola]

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4. Let's Try This Again

With a little prose
A new phoenix rose
From the ash, with brilliant flame
A new bird comes to play the game
This time, though, we'll be on the nose

Written by [Mortified Penguin]

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5. The Slug King

Barry was a slug most exalted
But very quickly his reign was halted
They found him on the ground
A slimy mound
Barry, it seemed, had been a-salted

Written by [Mortified Penguin]

---

6. Trouble

Trouble it seems,
Follows whom it deems,
Suitable for its games,
Does it ruin, kill, or maim,
One never knows what it dreams.

Written by [Ravendust]

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7. Tidings

Down the mess hall rang a shout: "Ohoy!"
The midwife ran in and wept for joy.
'T was all over the news
the captain's best muse
gave birth to a healthy alien boy.

Written by [Linderel]

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8. Dinner

Beyond the gate he stares at thee
Through eyeless sockets; how can he see?
Flesh and yellow colored tones
The Zombie man stands and moans
Merely wishing he could dine for free!

Written by [Alexi Ice]

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9. Love

We went on a date,
I thought it was fate!
Unfortunately for you,
Now we are through
And you are not my mate!

Written by [Alexi Ice]

---

10. Poughkeepsie (Poh-kip-see)

There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Who always showed up to work tipsy.
We beat down his ass
and soaked him in gas
Then burned him until he was crispy.

Written by [NOOOPE]

---

11. Writing Poetry is Hard!

A writer kept eyeing the clock,
Afflicted with bad writer’s block.
  As the minutes ticked by,
  He let loose a sigh,
Then decided to go for a walk.

Written by [Priscilla Primkin]

---

12. Colour me Antagonistically

The further I ran the further it came,
Calling, screaming and cursing my name,
When at last I did tumble,
Yet my heart did not stumble,
For I was the villain in this game.

Written by [Rice]

---

13. Smooth Moves

I met a cute girl, her guitar on her shoulder,
I struck up some talk and then soon enough told her:
"I'd sure fiddle your green
If you know what I mean,"
But she, see, could not have been colder.

Written by [Gastogh]

---

14. Usually I Find Possums

There once was a man in my roof,
Ev’ry night he would tap on his tooth,
Then one night at seven,
No sound – it was heaven,
But now I must smell all the proof.

Written by [Karithina]

---

15. Woes of Browsing the Interwebs

There once was a man from Nantucket,
He found "Yo dawg" and Lolrus and Bukkit,
The lolcats were there
In Chuck Norris’ hair,
And he followed steps 1, 2, ?, PROFIT!

Written by [Avaz]

---

16. Here Boy

T'was the guards from E'Town with a halo
Full of GOD and Righteousness and their Ego
They clutched at their hearts
You can't have genitals in art
And left to get off to Phaedo

Written by [Madhalf Heatlump]

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17. Ripe for Censorship

To raise the ire or to remain placid
To be open and calm or spew acid
A crew member that's stern
Goes down on my concerns
Much lower than the member that's flaccid

Written by [Madhalf Heatlump]

---

18. The Life of a Muffin

Roasting, rising and ready to arrive,
The muffin did smile in its warm baking hive.
Till one day a child,
Oh so rabid and wild,
Devoured, quite happily, the poor thing alive.

Written by [Rice]

---

19. Not a Rooster

I have this neat pet. It's a sock.
It's not quite as cool as a rock.
But it has these big eyes,
It won't tell me lies,
And can even go out for a walk.

Written by [Calico Tiger]

---

20. Meep

Meep was the cock of the walk.
So fine, he was loved by the flock.
His comb was his pride.
He'd strut and he'd stride.
Till I bashed his head in with a rock.

Written by [Calico Tiger]

---

21. No Title

There once was a woman who mused
About why everyone was confused
She ranted ‘til red
Then stood on her head
And proceeded to speak with her shoes.

Written by [Dark Side of the Moon]

---

22. War. What is it good for?

An old soldier sat by the door
Remembering the horrors of war;
  The medals on his chest
  Could not lay to rest
Those memories of carnage and gore.

Written by [Priscilla Primkin]

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23. A Tasty Limerick

I spoke with a poet named Tania,
Who said she was the best in the genre.
 Well she was a phony.
 I knew when she told me
That lasagna rhymed with bologna.

Written by [Aradon Templar]

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24. Hobbits Can Be Short Sometimes

There was an elf town with elf dudes and elf chicks.
Everyone was at peace, there were seldom conflicts.
They would braid their long hair
Without even a care,
But from the halfling's point of view, he could only see dicks.

Written by [Mortified Penguin]

---

25. Utensil

There once was a man from New York,
Who carried with him an old fork,
He tried to eat a bean,
But his fork was unclean,
So everyone called him a dork.

Written by [Thunder Cid]

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- The Elftown Limerick Competition